How I Developed a Best Friendship with My Mom

Mom – or mommy, as I casually refer to her even though I’m a 21-year-old – is my best friend.

Yes, I’m that young adult who wouldn’t exactly throw a fit if graduating from college meant going home to mommy and daddy’s house. Only there can I wake up in the morning, sleepily walk into someone else’s room and crawl in bed knowing I will receive cuddles and good conversation.

If I go any further about my babyish ways, I’ll probably embarrass myself, so I’ll stop there.

I say all of this to emphasize the care my mom provides. It is the key point of friendship. She has all of the qualities of an awesome best friend, including, by not limited to:

  • An overwhelming desire to help me any time I may even slightly need it.
  • The ability to tell me things I don’t want to hear, but need to hear.
  • Amazing conversation … even the predominately one-sided kind.
  • An ear to lend.
  • Time to spend.

While she’s clearly amazing (I mean, duh), it takes more than what she has to offer to build a best friendship. Moms and daughters should be BFFs, but sometimes as young adults we don’t much desire to hang out with that sweet old lady who says, “I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.”

You know the one.


But I digress.

I’ve always been open with my parents, except maybe a couple of times during my teenage years when I thought I was smarter than them. This openness is key, though. When I’m open with them, they’re open with me. When I trust them with my life stories, they trust me to continue to lead a safe, healthy life – and just like that, I’ve gained freedom.

While, yes, I’m getting older and their opinions on things could be completely dismissed without another thought, that’s not what I want either. Over the years I’ve realized they have a wealth of knowledge that I’d like to hear, even if the decision is ultimately mine.

I think a lot of young adults see their parents as the enemy, or as the people who will stop them from doing what they want if they’re open with them because their parents may not be completely on board. Maybe some still think of them as the people who can take them back out of this world, since they brought them into it.

It’s important to remember why your parents are worried about you. I’ve taken mental notes about my parents’ opinions on children who are not up front and open with their parents. I’ve gathered this:

  • Parents feel hurt when you aren’t open with them.
  • Parents don’t understand why you don’t want to be open with them.
  • Parents are scared when they don’t know where you are and if you’re okay.
  • Parents are sensitive creatures; treat them with care.

As we grow older and eventually become parents ourselves, we’ll obviously have a better idea of why our parents say the things they say. For now, though, try to love and cherish your mother for why she gets on your nerves. She has a reason.

I say all of this to say: remember to love your mothers (and your fathers too, of course)! Build a friendship with them based on openness and trust, and they will love you even more for it – if that’s even possible.

Happy Mother’s Day!


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