I read a book while I was on break from school for the holidays. I don’t read books for fun very often anymore because of all the time I spend on school, but I decided to purchase a book on iTunes with the gift card I received for Christmas.
The book I chose was called The Defining Decade, and I was beyond satisfied with my purchase.
The book is written by Dr. Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist, author and speaker who specializes in adult development. She draws all of the information provided in this book from more than 10 years of work with hundreds of clients and students in their twenty-somethings.
These twenty-somethings are like me. Trying to figure out the best path for life and how to make the best of it – from work to love and personal development. Often, twenty-somethings tend to think the twenties are not that important. We’re still young. We have time, right? Eh…one could argue this is our time. Right now is when we should take the time to figure out our paths.
I doubt anyone would really tell you that right when you turn 20, you should have your entire life figured out. No way. Not gonna happen. There is something to be said about taking time to think about these things, though.
As I’m nearing college graduation, it’s hitting me that I don’t have much more time to be wandering aimlessly. I don’t have time to say “It’ll all work itself out. I don’t need to think too hard about it. I’m young and free.” Although my spirit may be free, let me tell you what’s not free: LIFE. And I have to live it.
One of the things from The Defining Decade that really stuck with me was this:
“With about 80 percent of life’s most significant events taking place by age thirty-five, as thirtysomethings and beyond we largely either continue with, or correct for, the moves we made during our twentysomething years.”
Excerpt From: Meg Jay. “The Defining Decade.” iBooks. https://itun.es/us/5A5aC.I
Ugh, YES. Say it, Dr. Jay.
She talks about how we tend to believe our twenties are inconsequential years. We think what we do in our twenties will not directly affect our thirties because we can just fix it. In our thirties, we’ll suddenly be more prepared to guide our lives and everything will just fall into place. We’ll obviously fall in love, have kids, excel in our careers, be well-established and happier overall. We won’t be wandering anymore.
It’s a trick.
It’s a little scary. This is kind of how it felt when we were in high school and they told us to choose what we wanted to be when we grew up.
I think by now we’ve realized they were just giving us the opportunity to think about it. If they hadn’t told us it would determine the outcomes of our lives, we may not have taken the time to really think about it. It’s the same thing now.
If you’re still missing a piece of the puzzle at 30, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed, and if you don’t know what next year holds for you, you haven’t failed either. It’s just time to think about the future. Now, before life becomes more permanent. Build yourself up. Also, read the words of Dr. Meg Jay and let them marinate.
“Researchers in this same study found that most of the substantial and lasting events—those that led to career success, family fortune, personal bliss, or lack thereof—developed across days or weeks or months with little immediate dramatic effect. The importance of these experiences was not necessarily clear at the time but, in retrospect, the subjects recognized that these events had sharply defined their futures. To a great extent, our lives are decided by far-reaching twentysomething moments we may not realize are happening at all.”
Excerpt From: Meg Jay. “The Defining Decade.” iBooks. https://itun.es/us/5A5aC.l
Question of the Day: What do you do daily that moves you toward your goals?